Struggle Street

Oh man.

For the past 2 weeks, I’ve been really struggling with where I want to go with my career and my life.

Although I’ve chosen Nursing this year, I’m finding the prospect of working in a highly political field daunting and something I don’t really want to do – unless I’m a politician. Although I am loving the hands on experience I’m gaining, it’s not in the field I want to be in and it’s not fulfilling me in the way I would hope.

I know some would argue that you shouldn’t find fulfillment in your job – but I’ve never wanted to work for work’s sake. I want my work to be something I am proud of, and that I look forward to going to every day. I don’t want to relive my school years every morning because the career I’m working in doesn’t give me something other than money.

The first thing I wanted to do, was to become a Vet. I know the pathway like the back of my hand. Animal Science/Animal Health double major – Do well. This is basically your first year of Vet, show them what you can do – Volunteer, do work experience, do everything you can to show intent. Show a range – the bigger the better. – Write a personal statement. ~500 words, typed and signed. submit with application with references. – land the interview, smash it out, you know the head of vet science, he see’s promise in you. don’t overuse that. show them what you can do. – Get into vet. smash the competition. – You’re a vet, congrats. Do good work.

After doing nursing for six months, part of me really wants to do vet. Like it’s smashing its way through all the bars I’d hid it behind. I dream about it. It makes me want to throw everything away – things that cost me a lot of money – because humans can be horrible, and mean, and hurtful and animals simply don’t know what they’re doing, they’re hurt and don’t know you’re helping them. Working outside, with large animals, making sure the horse that has been a champion all its life, lives out his day’s without pain. Figuring out why the Dairy cow has suddenly started bleeding from her udder. Looking after the pregnant cat as she goes through labor. All these things make me excited.

And look, I know the bad things. Believe me. I know. I’ve seen the horrible things that can happen when two animals too closely related mate – the spinal injuries that occur from overwork – the blindness that happens just because something is aging – the change in behavior that breaks owners heart because and animal has cancer. I’ve watched animals being put down and the only thing I don’t think I could do – put down a healthy animal. I couldn’t work at a kill shelter – I don’t want to work at kill shelters – I don’t want there to be a need for them.

I have 4 options

  1. Stick out nursing, see how I like it in real life.
  2. Try and get into the double midwifery and nursing degree- see if that specialty is for me
  3. Finish this year – do well. Move to Murdoch and do their animal science/health double major and smash out the first year. Follow through to vet
  4.  Defer this year. Do volunteering and working in the animal field, and hopefully the medical field. See which one I like better and make a definite choice.

I honestly don’t know what to do. My heart is telling me one thing, while my rationality is telling me another.

 

See ya on the flip side

Turtle.

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