Blogmas Day 8: An Adventure in Failure

So as you may have guessed if you’ve started my blog I haven’t posted in  days.. blogmas has failed, but I’m still gonna write. If a single failure had me stopped in my tracks… I’d never do anything.

My parents used to joke about it, to make it normal. ‘Oh you failed, let’s try again’ and honestly it worked. Until I started comparing myself to my brother. My brother is the smartest person I’ve ever met. Without trying he got a 97.25 ATAR (final year 12 score). That is a lot to live up to, even if you aren’t being pressured to. I started high school with a very high potential. I was in two academic extension classes and had the ability to do well. However because my brother didn’t have to try, I didn’t think I had to. This is my biggest mistake honestly. I should have just done my homework and tried.

That’s not the point of this blog post, though. So I had all this internal pressure and so every time I did something if I didn’t do amazingly, I hated myself. I hated everything I did because of this and so I just didn’t try. I remember in year 8 I had an English poetry assignment, something I genuinely enjoyed, and I put it off for so long they gave me a special exemption so that it wouldn’t be worth as much as it was to the other students, and I got 84%. As soon as the pressure was taken off I did well. However, it wasn’t in the 90% and therefore it wasn’t good enough for me and I just kinda stopped trying.

This continued all the way through high school until I got to year 12. By this point, I didn’t really try but had still been getting decent marks and then year 12 hit me and… I haven’t got my results back but I’ve already considered myself a failure. And I’m weirdly okay with that.

 

 

 

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Blogmas Day 7:The Positives of Solitude

I’m going to preface this post by saying that by nature I am an outgoing person. I love going to parties and when in the right mood I can become the most outgoing person in a room.

But man, I love me some alone time. As I’m writing this, I am alone. I’ve just finished a 6-hour shift as a Santa’s photography elf and I want to be alone with my own thoughts and relish the fact that my back is slowly cracking the more I relax into my bed. I want to maybe read a chapter of my Sherlock book and write a couple of Blogmas posts so that when it comes to busy days I don’t have to worry about writing something I’m not proud of just to get content out, that wasn’t the goal for this month.

To me finding time to be by myself, whether that be a 10-minute meditation or 40 minutes just doing things I like, including watching YouTubers and writing, is the most important part of my day.

Again, I’m an outgoing person by nature. However, after 6 long, tedious hours of greeting people, dealing with screaming children and adults so dumb I think driving a railroad spike through their head would actually increase the number of brain cells in their skulls I’m over it. I want to relax and forget the stressors of the day.

Unfortunately for me that isn’t going to happen, and I know this is such a first-world problem I really do, however, I really love being alone. Ever since I was left alone after school being alone is like a drug to me. I know that’s weird for an extrovert to say but once I started truly loving myself and my own thoughts, my own person. As an 18-year-old that is such an empowering place to be at.

And honestly, I’m so scared that I’m going to lose that the more I am not alone.

Blogmas Day 5: Real Life Love Stories

This is going to be a pretty sappy post, I’m not going to lie. It’s all about my gorgeous girlfriend Paige.

Now, our story doesn’t start out all that incredible. If anything, it kinda proves how shallow I was and how incredibly stupid  I was as a young 15-year-old. I first met Paige when I was in year 10, neither of us really remember how we actually met, but it feels like she’s always been in my life.

I remember having a crush on her, I caught her smiling at something and I caught this little butterfly fluttering in my stomach and I just thought – Oh shit not again. I was still struggling with the homosexual side of my sexuality so every time I liked a girl it scared me a little bit, and I liked this girl so much. Eventually, I gave up on it, after all, why would an older straight girl like me? I silly younger girl with not much to give to people. Later that week in fact, I found out she liked me too. I was too scared to say anything so I decided to just give up on it.

About a year later I was invited to go to a marriage equality rally with a few friends, being the savvy young girl I was, I invited Paige, I was trying to drop hints that I was into her, and that I knew she liked me, and that I wanted to ask her out but I was too scared to, but I don’t think she really got any of that and our story was put on hold yet again.

Finally, nearly another year later, I couldn’t deal with this ‘will they, won’t they’ crap that had been going on and I asked her out. It wasn’t very romantic, in fact it kinda went something like this

‘Hey umm, I’m a little bit over this shit, do you wanna maybe go on a date with me? Idk it might be fun, we might get some lols’

It wasn’t very good looking back on it, and I kinda feel shit about it right now, but that date kickstarted our relationship.

It was horrid on my part, Pokemon Go had just been released and I played it for most of the date. I then did the most stupid and gay thing you can do on a gay date. I put my hand in between the two of our seats and she got this sign and held my hand. It was honestly one of the best moments of that day and it ended so nicely, she walked me home (we live close to eachother) and we nearly kissed. However, I was so nervous I quickly ran inside and left her outside… forgetting my beanie in the process.

Fast forward a few months and we had been talking on facebook almost every night. Nothing was official and we weren’t really heading in that direction, in fact we were both talking to others while talking to each other. After seeing her kiss someone else on Snapchat, I couldn’t take it anymore and I asked her if she saw anything in this. I can’t remember what she said exactly but it was something along the lines of ‘yes but no’. I suggest we hang out a bit and see what happens.

Since that day we’ve spent maybe 3 days apart? We were dating unoffically for about 2 weeks. We spent so much time together, and I kept falling in love with her more and more every day.

There was this one day. We went to the tattoo convention and she got this amazing pride tattoo on her arm. It suited her so well and I just absolutely loved it. Something about watching her get that tattoo made me realise just how much I wanted to be with this girl. She was so strong and just amazing that day, I knew I had to make her mine. However there was a hitch.

You see I was still struggling with my sexuality. I wanted so bad to be straight, to have a boyfriend and fit in with what not only my mum wanted for me that everyone around me wanted for me. It took me about a week to figure this out and unfortunately, she asked me out half way through this and even though I said yes originally, I reneged on that about an hour later. I felt so shit because everything in my body was saying that I needed to be in this girls life, however my mind was stopping me. I still feel so bad about this event.

I’m so sorry.

However, this story has a happy ending. On the 23rd of September 2016 I asked her to be my girlfriend. I spent around an hour going through our favourite book Looking For Alaska. You see in this book there’s a line that says ‘Will you be my girlfriend’. I put a sticky note underneath it that said

‘A) Yes

B) A

C) Kiss me’

Her reaction was to say ‘Is there an all of the above’. It was honestly the best day of my life.

That isn’t the end of our story. Every day I’m with her, I fall more and more in love with her. Sure, we fight over little things, but most of the time, the more we fight, the closer we end up. I couldnt imagine living my life any other way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blogmas Day 4: November Favourites

Although I’m not a pure beauty blogger, and I don’t think I ever will be, I love using new products and finding things that make my skin look and feel better. I also love reading and watching favourites posts as it gives me new ideas for what may work for me. I have 5 different categories for you and hopefully, you find a new product that works for you.

Make Up

Okay so as I’ve never done a favourites before I’ve also included some of my favourite products just in general. So my favourite foundation at the moment is the Elf flawless foundation. It’s not only cheap but it also is a pretty good foundation. As soon as I can afford something better I will be investing in a better-suited foundation as this is a bit too orange for me. A lot of the foundations in Australia are very very orange toned as they assume everyone is tanned which I am not and I am extremely pink toned so even though this is good, I haven’t yet found a perfect foundation for me.

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I hate to say it but it’s their lightest shade and it’s too dark for me in winter…  $13

I then use the NYX wonder stick creme contour and highlight as I find it blends really nicely in with the Elf foundation. Not only do the colours in this really compliment my skin tones, possibly better then my foundation does, they also blend so so easily and it took about 10 minutes off my makeup routine as before this I had to set my creme foundation with a powder then blend a contour powder out which is really difficult for me as my skin is so dry that if you don’t pat-blend its just cakey and kinda gross so having this has saved me looking like a cake all day every day.

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It was given to me as a gift so I don’t have prices for you sorry

Now my favourite eyeliner is a new piece for November and oh my god it is honestly the best eyeliner I’ve used ever, even better than the Stila eyeliner I had a couple of months ago and it was something like $3. Not only does it apply really easily (I’m still a bit of a novice at winged eyeliner) it stays on for as long as you want it to but is also pretty easy to remove when you need it to come off; I honestly can’t recommend this eyeliner enough.

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I’ve only ever made a mistake once with this and it was so easy to fix. Honestly the best eyeliner ever.

Next, Up we have my 2 favourite lipsticks. First, is Jeffree Star’s Unicorn Blood. Although it is one of my favourite lipsticks I wouldn’t repurchase it as after around 3 months the quality of it went down quite a bit and it now takes around 30 minutes to fully dry which can be annoying when I’m in a rush, so I am looking for recommendations for a new matte lip that is near the same colour. I also have been wearing it with Lush’s golden body Lustre (probably really bad for me but I like the look it gives) it is a bit more expensive at around $30 AUD

My second favourite lipstick is the Rimmel Kate Moss 107 lipstick. I bought it because of Zoella’s obsession with it around 2 years ago and honestly, I understand it. For me, it’s a really versatile shade that changes depending on the lip liner I have underneath it. When I’m using a darker lip liner it looks almost berry toned but if I use a brighter red lip liner it goes into this very Christmassy red that just looks so good. The quality of the photo swatches don’t really live up to the change that does occur and from memory, it’s around the $25 mark.

Finally, for makeup, we have the Lush golden Lustre body glitter. I know that it is supposed to be used mainly as a body glitter hence the name but I’ve been absolutely loving it as highlight, eyeshadow literally anything. I actually got given this as a present from someone who worked at Lush for a ball I went to around 2 years ago and I’ve only just hit the halfway mark of the bottle. I would highly highly recommend this product for anyone who wanted a highlight colour that is a bit different to what others would be wearing. It is $15

Bath Products

I only have one item for this category and it is the Lush ‘Lord of Misrule’ bath bomb. Sadly my favourite ever bath bomb didn’t get repeated this year but this one is a close second. It smells absolutely amazing and the colour it makes the bath is absolutely gorgeous. It is $7.95

So that’s it for my November favourites. I hope you enjoyed them and if you have any recommendations for skincare/makeup let me know in the comments as I would love some new products to try it.

Blogmas Day 3: An Open Letter To Zoe Sugg

Dear Zoe Sugg (AKA Zoella),

Where do I start?

You are my biggest and most important influence. Watching your videos and reading your blog has shown me and taught me so much. From the fact that moisturisers exist to simply being entertained watching your hauls. Your style and amazing life has given me so many ideas of what I can do with my own life.

Watching you do 24 days of Zoella last year along with Vlogmas showed me that you can do whatever you put your mind to. You gave me something to look forward to everyday during one of the most stressful months of my life with my first ever exam periods along with a kitten entering my life. Your videos have lead me to new YouTubers who also have given me advice that have influenced me to start this blog.

If it wasn’t for me stumbling onto your YouTube channel all those years ago I wouldn’t have any of the goals I’ve set for myself to achieve. Your life is everything I one day wish to achieve. You have a loving partner who appears to dote on you in every way that I hope mine will for years to come. You have an amazing house that fits your personality down to the T. Youre homeware collection is so beautiful and the way you have it set up around your house is not only 100% functional but gorgeous as well. Nala is such a cute dog and watching the way both you and Alfie interact with her has made me so happy on days where I don’t necessarily feel like smiling.

I’ve been thinking what it is about you that resonants with me and I think it’s the fact that you’ve managed to overcome anxiety and be yourself all while making a living doing what you love. Not only have you achieved so much in such a short amount of time but you’ve done it with grace in humility that I only wish I can emulate.

You are so influential to me that for the past 3 years you have been the only constant on my motivation board (something you inspired me to do). You also gave me the drive (pun intended) to hopefully be able to get a mini convertible by my 20th birthday, I know it seems like an almost impossible goal, but I’m sure with your encouragement, simply by living your life.

Yours, Nadine

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Blogmas Day 2: The Addiction of Beginning Again

 

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Just Some Pretty Flowers To Make Your Day Better

So this subject is very close to my heart. TurtlesLittleAdventures is actually the fourth blog I’ve started and it’s the only one I’ve made more than 2 posts for and actually posted them. You see I have an addiction to beginning again. I start a lot of things, and I rarely finish them. I have this fear of trying, you can never fail if you never try right? The thing is you can never succeed either. This was originally going to be my first ever post on this blog, but you guessed it I started something else first

 

I’ve been wondering why it is that I never want to finish anything or stick with it long enough to see results, whether that be weight loss or watching a movie I can never seem to stick to the end. Even this post seems to want to not finish itself.

Surprisingly the thing, or more accurately person, that kicked my butt into actually starting and continuing this post, is Alfie Deyes and Zoe Sugg. Their constant commitment to each other and their careers inspires me to continue fighting for what I want, and I know it may seem stupid, what I really want is to write. It’s something that I’ve loved since about 4th grade. It was something I was good at and that people responded to in a way that made me feel as though I might do something with my life instead of working a 9 to 5 job living to work instead of working to live.

My addiction to beginning again is a serious one, and I’ve decided to tackle it head on. Today, starting with this post, I’m going to finish everything I start. Hopefully beginning with Blogmas.

After all, all big things start out small.

Blogmas Day 1: An Introduction

Even though I only started this blog a couple days ago, I thought I’d embark on the challenge that is Blogmas.

I’m going to admit something. I don’t read an awful lot of blogs, but I follow a lot of YouTubers and follow their blogs as a result. What they write and do during this month is something that I’ve wanted to do but never really thought I could. I kept putting it off until December was over and then it was a new year so it’s a new me right? Who needs to blog in a new year when you’ve got school to worry about? In the end, I’ve just finished high school and I was wondering what to do with my life and so I thought to myself. I’m going to start that blog that I’ve been wanting to start for over 4 years. Once I’m happy with that blog I’m going to start that YouTube channel. I’ve been watching Pointless Blog (Alfie Deyes) and every day he reminds his viewers that in order to get what you want, you have to start.

So I decided that in order to do this properly I had to throw myself into it wholeheartedly. So blogmas it is. If I can do blogmas, successfully, in my first week of blogging I’m sure I can do absolutely anything I set my mind to.

So let’s start. Here’s what my plan is. For the first 12 days of blogmas, I’m not going to write too much about Christmas, I’m going to be writing about me, my personal experiences, people who inspire me and a couple of open letters to the two YouTubers who inspire me the most. For the last 12 days of blogmas, it’s going to be an explosion of Christmas. What makes me love Christmas and all of the things that make an Australian Christmas special. I hope you enjoy it!

Hopefully, my little steps will carry me a long way!

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Also Heres My Face